Posted by: Author | April 17, 2010

Have made a decision to go back in the closet

Where I should have stayed. I’ve always been a closet writer. Since about the 2nd grade.  I finally came out about 2 years ago and let people know that I had lots of stories in me.  It has been a nice ride, have had a couple of short stories published but I have come to the conclusion that I’m not cut out for the stress of submitting and waiting for rejection to come. In the interest of my mental health, I’m no longer going to be part of the madness.  I have to make peace in my head and heart. I made that peace last night and TODAY here was my horoscope for the week ahead:

Your Week Ahead: At times, you can be your own worst enemy. At other times, you can be your own best friend! That’s not so surprising. Our worst enemies are almost always the people who used to be our friends. If you are worried now about inadvertently scuppering a plan that you ought to succeed with, there is a simple solution. Make peace with yourself. Forgive yourself for anything you regret. Offer yourself the respect you deserve! Then, move forward in confidence. Only if you are inwardly torn will you make a decision for the wrong reasons. To get your heart and head singing from the same hymn sheet, find a belief they both can share. 

Not much of a believer in horoscopes but sometimes, they fit. Exactly. I really am at peace with this. I’ll continue to write as I love it and can’t imagine not doing it but I’m off the roller coaster.  I have a wonderful career that many people would envy and I’ve decided that that is enough for me.  I’ve accomplished a lot and I should be proud of myself, not riddled with self doubt which is what this submission process has done to me. 

I know only 5 people read this blog and I love you all – I’ll keep sharing stories with you all if you ask. 


Responses

  1. I am terribly sorry that you have felt so torn over this. You are an excellent writer but if this is what you feel you should do then I won’t complain too much. You are more important than what you do. So with that said, just know that I’m here for you.

    • Thanks Tammy.

  2. Greetings, You know I love you an consider you a dear friend. Maggie -hayne, Heather Graham, and many high up authors will TELL you REPEATEDLY that they ALL have had rejections love. Maggie Shayne wrote for years before she was ready to go out an find a job..and guess what? The last(first) she didn’t get a rejection letter. I have a question..do you give up on your clients in this way? Do you not fight for them? How come you can’t fight for yourself? Us sizzlers have goals an we are going to do it together. I love you please rethink what your doing think of what I said…

    • My friend, I’m not giving up because I’ve been rejected- I haven’t even heard from the submissions from Silken Sands yet. I’m not giving up on myself at all. I’m just not going to submit my work anymore. I put incredible pressure on myself to succed and I’ve found that I can’t sustain the pressure in both my legal career (Which I believe is a calling in and of itself) and in the writing. I just can’t take the stress of both and one has got to give. I am choosing to keep my head in the career that provides me both satisfaction in a job well done and pays me well for the work done. It is a calculated, much thought over decision. Trust me, I’m doing what’s best for me. I love ya and hope you’ll support me. S

  3. ok

  4. You do what you have too, an I will not bother you any more with my rantings.

  5. I respect your reasoning behnd your decision, but . . . it’s hard to see someone with true talent let current market trends (that change as often as the wind and can be just as whimical) affect their submission decisions. I can see where it would be a challenge to balance two such diverse career paths, but could you maybe see yourself submitting once or twice a year just to keep your hand in? It’s almost like cooking soup; you have to taste it once in a while to see what it needs. And sooner or later someone is going to sit down to a bowl and it will be the best thing they’ve ever tasted and they’ll have to have your recipe.

    • Thanks, Runere- Maybe. I DO plan to keep writing like I said. I plan to stay in the chapter and the Sizzlers – as to submissions, at this time, I’m done. Maybe someday but not now. Thanks for respecting me. That means the world. TRULY- a true friend you are for respecting my feelings and not berating me. You’re a doll.

  6. Lord I look drunk when I read the spelling errors! lol Those words are ‘behind’ and ‘whimsical’. Dyslexic fingers!

    • I have those fingers, too.

  7. Beat me purple, I’m sorry. I didn’t see it as berating you as a good kick in the pants thing. I thought you were quitting because you were rejected.. and you didn’t want to say so. It may have come across wrong, but my heart was in the right place. Honest. You truly are a talented writer, and I didn’t want you to quit.

  8. Sherry…..I’m sending you bunches of hugs. I’ll follow you anywhere…so whatever you choose to do…I’m right there.


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