I have a friend that lives far from me that is causing me some concern and has been for a few weeks now. She has always said that she has never been able to keep friends. I’ve told her that I am a loyal friend and would always be there for her. But now I’m not so sure about what she meant by saying people abandon her. She has cut herself off from me as well as a couple of other friends. So, the question becomes, does she lose friends because she builds walls over some perceived slight or do people really abandon her? I know I haven’t walked away.
I hate that she has cut herself off and I have done all I can do to make this friendship work, short of begging her to contact me and that I refuse to do. I don’t grovel for anyone.
The question in my mind is this: Is it a true friendship if a person has to watch everything that they say – even the innocuous comments that have nothing to do with her- for fear that the other person will take offense? I don’t define that as friendship. I call that an acquaintance. It’s quite sad as I do love her.
Jillian Chantal 
Friendship is a two-way street, just like any relationship should be. Of course, there’s always one person who gives more than the other, one who makes sure things don’t remain stagnant, but you have to get something out of a friendship as well. It’s how it works. I’ve lost several friends because of distance and “growing up”. We’ve gone our separate ways and don’t have much in common anymore, but I know if I need them they’ll come and vice versa. Sorry you’re worrying over your friendship. Maybe she’ll come around.
By: danicaavet on October 5, 2010
at 11:58 am
Thanks Danica. Appreciate it.
By: sfcatty on October 5, 2010
at 12:01 pm
I understand and can relate to what you’re saying. It’s tough walking on eggshells. I know we’re all different and we handle our stuff in our own way. Still, it can be hard wanting to be there…reaching out and finding a wall in the way. I count my blessings every day that you are such a dear, dear friend. Thank you for being you!!!
By: napewriter on October 5, 2010
at 1:08 pm
Thank you for appreciating me, Margo! Love ya.
By: sfcatty on October 5, 2010
at 1:39 pm