Posted by: Author | October 7, 2013

Tuesday Tales- October 7, 2013- Evergreen

I wrote a 1500 or so Young Adult short story for this week’s word prompt of EVERGREEN. The sentence came to me when I read the prompt but I didn’t have a story to put it in so I made one. It’s only going to be a short story and I’ll share the whole thing later in the month. Here’s the link to the other stories.

Badge for TT - very small

The girl kept swinging as he approached the set of six swings hanging from the tall metal frame. He glanced around the park. They were the only people in the vicinity. Thornton stood beside the metal bar closest to the swing she was in and shading his eyes from the sun that was now a bit higher in the sky and blocking his view, he tried to get a good look at her. She seemed to have on the same skirt she’d worn the week before and it fluttered and snapped in the crisp October air.

She appeared to notice him and slowed the pumping action of her legs to allow the swing to come to a stop.

As soon as the swing was still, Thornton approached her. She smiled at his out-stretched hand. “I’m Thornton Flannery. I saw you last week—”

She paled and shook her head.

“It’s all right. I don’t want to hurt you.”

She seemed so scared, he wanted to comfort her and let her know that he meant her no harm. He pulled out the package of gum and holding it out to her said, “Evergreen”—he smiled at his own nervousness—“I mean wintergreen—gum?”

She shook her head again and shuffled her feet in the dirt.

Concerned that maybe she was mute and unable to speak to him, he asked, “Can I help you communicate? Can you understand me?”

The girl’s smile was sad but she still didn’t say a word.

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Responses

  1. Oh, I expected Colin Frizzle, aka Christopher I think 😉

    Nice post, Jillian. Really enjoyed it. I hope to read more about it, cos I’m intrigued why she wouldn’t talk.
    Also, great way to add the prompt! 🙂

    • LOL on expecting Christopher. I’m just not “feeling” that story. LOL

      Thanks re: the prompt. I plan to post the whole thing later in the month-

  2. Excellent excerpt! I am dying to know why she won’t talk.

    • Thanks Tricia. It’s a fun reason for sure. Lol

      >

  3. This is fascinating. Is she a ghost? I so hope you continue sharing this with us.

    • Oh, Sherry, you are a great reader! Thanks. And I will post the whole story soon.

  4. Great use of the prompt. The scene was a little scary, offering gum to a little girl is creepy. Yet she didn’t run or say anything. So now I’m intrigued and I want to know if she can talk and who the guy is and why is he there?

    • Thanks Jea. What you didn’t see of the scene is that he’s 15 and she looks his age to him. So, no pedophile here. Lol. Thanks re: prompt. The line came to me first and I wrote the whole story around it.

  5. Nice job. Good use of the prompt, very creative. Can’t wait to see the whole short story!

  6. Very creative use of the prompt!


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