Posted by: Author | May 11, 2015

Tuesday Tales – May 12, 2015 – Twenty

This week’s word is twenty. I’m still working on the snowed in story and I know you all have to be as tired of it as I am. LOL  – Anyhow, here’s this week’s snippet.  Be sure to read the other fabulous writers here. 

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A noise at the door startled Ian awake. Pressing down on the end of his watch to light up the face, he peered down at the time. He couldn’t believe it had only been twenty minutes since they’d gone to bed. He must have been really beat since it seemed as if he’d been asleep for hours.

Ian heard the noise again. He sat up and tilted his head toward the door. It sounded almost like something scratching at the wood but he knew there were no rats or other creatures in the building. Simon was meticulous about those things and the health department was as well.

The sound came again. Ian couldn’t believe he was the only one to hear the noise. Simon and Lanett seemed to be comatose they were sleeping so hard.

In a few seconds, the doorknob turned slowly. Ian didn’t move. He was curious about who would be creeping in and wanted to give them a chance to show themselves before he alerted them to the fact that he was awake and onto them.

Suddenly curious about why Simon believed the front of the bar would be safe with both owners in the back, Ian thought twice about being quiet. He knew the money from the register was in this room locked in the safe but what if the person coming in had a gun?

He opened his mouth to call out for Simon but before he could say a word, his brother knelt beside him holding a hand up as if to halt any sound. Ian stayed quiet.

The door inched open, letting out a tiny noise. When the sound entered the room, the door stopped moving. Whoever was behind the stealthy entry must have decided to wait a moment to determine if anyone was awake and listening. It took a few moments for the door to move again.

When it did, Ian wasn’t surprised to see Nancy come creeping in. Simon put a hand on Ian’s upper arm as if to hold him back.

Ian’s gut was screaming at him to protect Lanett but when Nancy turned her head toward his cot, Simon ducked and pulled Ian into a supine position.

Getting the message he thought Simon was sending him, Ian pretended to be asleep even as he peered out of his half-opened eyes to see what she was going to do.

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Responses

  1. how nasty to stop there … arrrghhhh …. what’s that nancy up to?
    PS – word learnt this week: supine 😀
    Oh – loved the snippet!!!

    • Lol. I love that you learned a new word. Supine is an awesome one! 🙂 Thanks for the kind words as always.

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  2. Oho! Not so nice Nancy is caught creeping around in the middle of the night! I can’t wait to see what she’s after and how they deal with her. Great build up of tension in your scene.

    • Thanks Flossie. Glad you think so. I’ve been getting frustrated with the movement on this story. Lol

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  3. What the heck is that Nancy up to?! You did a great job of building the tension.

    • Thanks Vicki. I’m just hoping not to let down the reader on the other side of the tension.

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  4. What the heck is she up to?? Damn, woman, you leave us hanging.

    • She’s up to no good….. Lol

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  5. I love suspense.

    • thanks Ursula. Me, too

  6. You certainly set the scene. Felt like I was peering through the window, but luckily I could hear too.

    • Thanks Morgan!

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