Posted by: Author | January 5, 2016

An Open Letter to the Person Who Called Me Dishonorable

Dear Unnamed Author:

This letter is to respond to your completely unnecessary attack on me and my character. I am determined to ignore your venom but first, I must get this off my chest.

You asked me three times in separate communications to swap reviews of each other’s books. I normally don’t agree to do this but you were persistent and so I decided to go forward against my better judgment.

To tell the truth, your book turned me off completely. Even the blurb was almost impossible for me to get through. It was full of rage, abusive words and was utterly racist. But, I had agreed to read it, so read it I did.

When I finished, I was appalled and wondered even how a publisher would accept such vitriol. It took me a while to figure out how to write a review that I could post since I really hated the book. But, I had agreed to do it so I slanted the review to the best spin on the book I could. I wasn’t happy about putting it up, but I did. I immediately received an email from you to please put it up in another place. Which I did.

Months passed. I would check periodically to see if you had reciprocated on the review deal but you never did. The more I thought about what I posted as my review of your book, the more I regretted it. I get a lot of correspondence that people rely on my reviews when deciding to purchase and, the more time that went by, the more I knew I needed to remove that review. I wasn’t being true to myself.

You actually made it easy for me to remove it since you hadn’t lived up to your part of the bargain. Almost the minute I removed them, I suddenly heard from you- and you were almost done with my book and would post the review as soon as I put mine back up. Really? You think I am that naïve? You were merely wanting that review back and would say anything to get it.

Two more months pass and last night, I get an email from you. It was couched as, “put back up the review you did for me and I will give you a favorable review.” Not that you liked my book but that tit for tat, if I went back and reposted, I could get the benefit of the bargain I made four months ago.

When I declined- in the nicest possible way- without making any confrontational remarks, you came back immediately on the attack and accused me of being dishonorable and not living up to what I agreed to. Your angry words were cruel and unkind. Perhaps I should have expected such since your book was the same.

If you think about how things really went down, you’d see that I did exactly what I said I would. I honored my word. When you didn’t reciprocate, I removed the review that was actually eating at my conscience. So, ultimately, I followed my own heart and showed that I do have integrity by pulling the review.

This is one of the reasons I don’t agree to swap reviews. Your behavior was abominable and uncalled for. I am sticking to my guns from now on. I will never again agree to swap reviews with someone. I will review the books I choose.

Thank you for reminding me just how nasty some people can be. It’s a lesson I sometimes forget as I try to think the best of people until I am proven wrong. You definitely proved me wrong in this situation.

Jillian

 

** Edited to add**- I see you’ve now had your friend post a 3 star review of my book. Let’s talk about the definition of dishonorable. AND since you gave her my ARC, that’s more loss of integrity, isn’t it?

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Responses

  1. Well said Jillian. I know how you fretted over your review and trying to give a positive slant on something you found abhorrent. Then to attempt to blackmail you by offering a favorable review of your book in exchange for re-posting your review is just unconscionable. You will be well served by removing this toxic person from your life.

    • Thanks Darlene. And you’re right. This person being out of my life is a good thing.

  2. Reblogged this on Jillian Chantal and commented:

    Be careful who you deal with. Things can turn bad when you make a deal with someone you don’t really know.

  3. So sorry you had to go through this. A painful learning experience for sure.

    • For sure Lavada. It was very distressing.

  4. I can’t believe anyone would behave in such an abhorant, unprofessional fashion. That being said, some people may get older, but they fail to grow up. As Darlene has said, you don’t need someone like that in your life.

    • I agree, Susanne. And yes, she did behave appallingly. My son warned me not to engage with her. I should have listened. Lesson learned.

  5. There is no excuse for her behavior, especially after you bent over backwards for her.
    I am glad that you did what you needed to do to ‘thine own self be true’; I have found you to be a very honorable person.
    I doubt that the person will read this or feel that they should change in any way,(unfortunately), but I hope this helped you feel better by getting the full story out. Peace.

    • Thanks. I have no doubt. She won’t read it. This was just for me to get it out of my system so I can move on with my life. The words needed to be out of my head. LOL

  6. Bravo! I applaud your honesty. The honorable person I’ve been friends with these past few years.

    • Thanks Jean! That means a lot to me!

  7. Jillian, you were generous with someone and went against your own rules and better judgment to do so. Funny they should call you dishonorable. He/she never upheld their end of the deal and therefore are by definition dishonorable. If they wanted to be dishonest, they should’ve paid someone to review their work. Unfortunately, there are people who do get compensated for lying about content. I say block communications with this person and read what you love to your heart’s content.

    • thanks Amber. You’re right. She should have paid for a review. She clearly wanted that. AND yeah, I finally decided that she was putting it back on me since she really was the one who didn’t act with honor. And I’ve told her never to contact me again. I, for one, plan to avoid her and her books. 🙂 and will read all kinds of good authors instead – like you!!!

  8. That’s shocking. Sensational response on your behalf, though.

    Oh, that we could know the author you speak of so we know to avoid him or her.

    I am new to the author scene, so I am glad I read this prior to my first novel being published in April.

    Thank you for sharing — and remaining honourable. You have shown true class in your response. I only pray I could be so firm and without aggression if I ever find myself in such a position.

    • thanks for the kind words, Donna. I won’t disclose the name of this lady as I don’t want to cause her any grief even though she didn’t consider my feelings. Thank you for saying I’ve shown class. I was hoping the post would be taken in the spirit in which I wrote it. I needed to get past the event and this was my way of dealing with it. I sincerely hope your publishing goes well and good luck with your release. AND I pray you never face this kind of situation. 🙂

      • I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through. But it’s during the bad times that people show what they’re made of, and you’ve shown more honor, forbearance and just plain class than virtually anyone I’ve ever known. My warmest hugs to you, sweetie, and my prayers that with this distasteful episode finally behind you from now on 2016 will be a year of happiness, good health, love and unparalleled success for you.

  9. Bravo! Well said, and I’m glad you spoke up because it’s ridiculous. I had the same once … got pushed pushed and pushed once more and agreed to an exchange of books. I didn’t like the book at all and said to the other author it wasn’t my cup of tea. Of course, I never even got a review for my book (now i wonder whether a friend did it 😦 )
    I know we’re told not to ‘react’ to negative reviews, but sometimes we need to talk about it and let others know. We’re only human.
    Having known you now for a few years (wow!), and although “only” via the net, but I reckon you’re one of the bestest best authors out there: talented, reliable, honest…. I’m sure I could come up with many more!
    Again, well said, and sorry you had to go through this.

    • Thanks Iris. I debated whether to even post this but I eventually had to for my own peace of mind. I am not worried about that “review” by the friend as I know it was put there with malice by someone who didn’t read the book. You can tell by the review. Lol

      I’m sorry the same kind of thing happened to you. You’re an awesome lady and I love you.

      >

  10. Thanks Darcy. Your words mean the world to me. You put a smile on my face. Love you.

  11. Jillian – well done. I have seen some rather awful reviews given for some really good books. And the thing is- they appear to be very similar one to the next- and done by persons who regularly site stuff like ‘overuse of words’ and ‘didn’t give historic data correctly’ — that sort of thing. I asked one of my friends about this since her very good books had been plagued by some of these awful reviews. She calmly told me that some authors will sabotage others — jealousy? That is awful. If you don’t have enough talent – don’t put yourself out there. If you think you do- write and do the work that it takes to promote your book. But leave others alone. That is so typical of bullies that are really useless anyway. This person you spoke of Jillian is probably the same type – a bully – some person who picked on younger, little people in school because she could. And she gets loud and obnoxious when told ‘no.’ But bravo to you. That three star review is worth it’s weight in gold. It’s a rope around her neck. She will always know it’s there.

    • thanks Karen. And the three star review isn’t going to bother me. I know it really didn’t rate my book. It was just her spite. And yes, I have heard of sabotage in this industry. It’s awful and who has time to do that? I sure don’t – I merely want to write my books and hope readers like them. 🙂 thanks for your kind words of support.

  12. a painful experience, beautifully written.
    Shame on that horrid person.

    • thanks, Jeff. I appreciate it. And yeah, shame on them.

  13. Hugs.

    • thanks! It DID result in some sales so it’s not all bad. LOL


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