This week we have a picture prompt and are limited to 300 words. There were a number of choices of photos and since my new story is based in New York City, I chose that one. So far, this story has no name but it’s a contemporary thriller- or I hope it will be. LOL
Check out the other tales here. See what pic they chose and how they wrote around it.
It’s funny how smells can send you right back to childhood. When the girl with dreads walked past me on the subway, the Hawaiian Tropic coconut oil she had glistening on her skin sent me right back to the beach I grew up on. Memories of girls, surf and sand flooded over me. Right there in New York City, I was instantly transported. Way too skinny again—although I’d always thought I was pretty buff as a teen—and with surfer dude hair past my shoulders, I could almost feel the stickiness of the salt water on my skin.
Closing my eyes and leaning my head against the solid glass window pane, I let my mind drift into those memories. In the moment right before I dozed off, a female voice called loudly through the car, “Hate to break it to you but this is a shakedown. Everyone sit still. It’ll only be a moment while I divest you of your jewelry and cash.”
Oh no, she did not. Good lord, was I never to have one second of peace?
“Sir, I’d advise you not to pull that emergency cord. You see this gun?” The woman went on.
Letting out a deep sigh, I opened my eyes. The girl with the dreads—all eighty-five pounds of her—stood there with a .44 magnum bigger than her head in her right hand. In her left, she carried a pillowcase. She shook it in front of the woman closest to me. “Put your gold and your wallet in here.”
“All my jewelry is costume,” the woman dressed too nicely for the subway said.
The pillowcase reminded me of another childhood memory. Halloween candy collection in momma’s best linens. Did this chick who probably had zero Rastafarian beliefs think this was her own personal trick or treat? She’d get a trick for sure as soon as she turned her back on me.
Jillian Chantal 
He hasn’t done anything and he seems to be a badass to me. I love the fact he’s remembering happy times while they’re getting robbed. I can’t wait to see where this goes!
By: Tricia Andersen on July 18, 2017
at 10:43 am
thanks! I can’t wait either as I have no clue. LOL. Thanks for seeing his bad-assery right off the bat as I was hoping for that.
By: Author on July 18, 2017
at 12:16 pm
Love the imagery of the coconut scent taking him back. That happens to me all the time. And then the surprise, and the growing tension and suspense. Great way to keep me off balance and hanging on the next word. But now I’m a little put out it’s a cliffhanger!!! Great job!
By: jeanjoachim on July 18, 2017
at 3:58 pm
I am with you on scents. When I was in law school and studying for the bar exam, I wore a Gloria Vanderbilt presume- the one with the swan. and to this day, when I smell that, I am right back in bar exam mode. LOL. Scent is powerful.
Glad you like the beginning of this one. Had to be a cliffhanger (I even went over by like 15 words). LOL
By: Author on July 18, 2017
at 4:23 pm
Great imagery. I could see and feel everything he did. I love the way this robber is going to get her comeuppance in short order!
By: Flossie Benton Rogers on July 18, 2017
at 7:24 pm
thanks Flossie. I’m glad it was vivid for you! And yep, comeuppance is a comin’ to Miss Dreads. LOL
By: Author on July 18, 2017
at 7:33 pm
Great scene and a start to a new story. Loved the action, the inner thoughts, the descriptions…all of it!
By: trishafaye on July 18, 2017
at 8:14 pm
wow. thanks, Trisha. That means a lot!
By: Author on July 18, 2017
at 8:16 pm
Great scene with lots of vivid imagery!
By: Vicki Locey on July 20, 2017
at 5:32 am
thanks! I’m glad you liked it.
By: Author on July 20, 2017
at 9:53 am
Wow. As soon as he mentioned that tanning oil, I remembered it too. Used to slather myself in it–Of course, that was before we knew the dangers of the sun. Great scene. love the sudden change of pace. l’m looking forward to more of this.
By: mhsusannematthews on July 20, 2017
at 4:13 pm
thanks Susanne. My whole high school was filled with people wearing that stuff. My adult life has been spent with the same smell but in a safe SPF level now. LOL – we used to slather ourselves in baby oil and iodine. Talk about crazy- frying ourselves, literally- BUT we looked tan! LOL – I’m having fun with this story so I’m glad you like it so far.
By: Author on July 20, 2017
at 6:28 pm
We did the iodine and baby oil thing too. lol
By: mhsusannematthews on July 22, 2017
at 5:23 am
we were certifiable, weren’t we?
By: Author on July 22, 2017
at 9:27 am