Posted by: Author | October 13, 2014

I Don’t Get It- Daughters-in-Law

I’ve blogged about this before but I still don’t get it. Why do most girls these days not want to be part of the families they marry in to? It seems to be an epidemic as I hear it a lot from people I know that they have the same issues.

I’m sad today because even though it’s a good day for my son- it’s his first wedding anniversary- I am hit anew (right in the face is my perception) with the fact that my daughter-in-law wishes my son was the only one of our family in her life. It hurts my feelings every time she posts pictures on FB of “her” wedding (and she went nuts posting this morning) and only posts shots of her, my son and her family. It’s like we weren’t even there. I feel like she would say – if she could get away with it-“Thanks for the use of your uterus to grow my husband and thanks for raising him. Now, go away and never come back.”

She seems to forget he’s partially the awesome man he is because we raised him to be kind, polite, trustworthy, a hard worker and to love with his whole soul. But for us, he may have been a different person.

This may all sound petty of me but there you go. It is what it is. My own mother-in-law didn’t like me and it was a hard thing to take- I’m in the opposite role now- I like the girl but she doesn’t like me,

I prayed their whole lives that the situation would be different when my sons married. So far, with one married, it isn’t. AND I know it’s not just my imagination when the second son, who is not married, tells me all the time that he is going to do better for me. If he sees it, it has to be obvious, right?

Anyway, I can normally go about my day and not think about this lack in my life but today, I feel like I’ve been slapped. My husband can brush it off and wonders why it hurts me so much but I guess I’m more sensitive than he is.

My sons- groom adjusting groomsman's boutonniere

My sons- groom adjusting groomsman’s boutonniere

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Responses

  1. I’m very sorry. I had that problem with one now-ex-d-in-law; we found that she didn’t even consider his son part of her family.(It was a rebound/whirlwind relationship that thankfully, he got out of quickly.) I won’t go into all my experiences. Yours is hurtful enough for you and yours.Let’s hope she gets a clue as to what she is missing.Here’s hoping your son realizes what he, also ,is missing and can find a way to make it work for all of you.
    (Gosh, has it been a year already?)

    • I just hope she doesn’t try to alienate him. He and I have always been close and I think that’s part of what bothers her.

      • Hug and a prayer,Jillian.

  2. Hopefully it will change when you get to be the awesome grandmother I know you’ll be. I love people who love my kids so let’s hope she will too.

    • I was just telling a friend the other day, Lavada, that I would probably never get to see the grandkids unless I drove to Palm Beach. She always wants to visit her folks but not us. Sad, sad, sad.

  3. Have you asked your son about it? I know you don’t want to create a rift, either between him and you or him and his wife, but he might need to understand how your feeling?

    • He gets it. He totally does. We have def. discussed it but he has no idea how to make it better. I try not to press it since you’re right- I dont want a rift or him to think he has to pick one of us. I certain never want him to be in that position. We should each have our place in his life and they dont have to be antagonistic. It breaks my heart. For him and me.

      • Yeah, I can understand that. Sigh.

      • Yeah. Alas.

        >


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