Posted by: Author | September 27, 2011

Special Guest: Ben Wallace

JILLIAN: I met Ben on Twitter and he’s hilarious, especially his five minute hate hashtag. I thought it would be fun to have him pop by the old blog. I had no idea he had a phobia about other men’s parts, but I’ll let him tell you about that! If his books are as funny as he is, we’re in for a treat. I, for one, am off to get my hands on one.


I wanted to thank Jillian for inviting me to do a post on her blog. But I should also add that I’m a little intimidated. Why? Look at her books. No, really, click that link, check out the covers and come back.

What did you see? Romance. Passion. That’s right. I mean, look at that guy on her cover. He’s barely wearing a shirt at all. It makes me a little uncomfortable.

It’s just I feel that I’ve stepped into the wrong restroom and I must flee before being discovered.

It’s not the books. It’s not the guy’s chest. It’s me. I’ve always been shy and timid – especially around women and other men’s nipples.

But here I am trying to convince a room full of romance fans that my books are also worth reading.

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do it. My books don’t have a ton of romance. I have to fade to black when my characters embrace just to keep myself from blushing.

There is most certainly love in my stories. A love story is a great story to tell. It’s just that whenever my characters get “passionate” I explode a boat, or introduce a Super Smart Bear so I don’t have to write the mushy stuff.

I could try flattery and tell you that you all look beautiful, which you do, but I’m afraid it would seem insincere. And, I don’t want to risk insulting your intelligence.

Even though I’m awkward around women, I think it’s important to note that I have a great deal of respect for women. Women are awesome. When I write their characters in my books I strive to never make them the damsel in distress. I want to make them strong characters, but not in that stereotypical Hollywood strong-fiercely-independent-I-don’t-need-anyone-so-I’ll-treat-everyone-like-dirt kind of way. I mean, we’re all just people, right?

Now it feels like I’m pandering. Is it hot in here?

Okay, here’s the deal. My books are big on action, big on adventure and big on laughs. I’ve also started a new series of short stories starring Dumb White Husband. He may not be the perfect man, but he’s someone we all know/love/hate/laugh at.

Check them out at and see what you think.

Thank you for having me here today. I hope it didn’t sound too stupid


JILLIAN: Ya’ll play gentle with Ben, now. Thanks for coming by, Ben.



  1. I seem to be having trouble posting tonight. So giving it a 3rd try. This was an Oh My Gosh post. Loved it and will be looking forward to the series coming out.

    • I thought it was hilarious as soon as he sent it to me. He’s fun to follow on Twitter, too.

    • The post cracked me up as soon as I read it.

      • dang, that comment posted after I thought it got lost! LOL!

  2. Thanks Lavada. The Dumb White Husband series of short stories has started. The first is Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store. It’s available here:

    • thanks for coming and playing with us, Ben. It’s gonna be fun!

      • My pleasure. Thanks for having me.

  3. Sounds great! And don’t feel bad, Ben, I’m an erotic romance writer and sometimes I still blush at what my characters get up to. I mean really! Some people have absolutely no shame…and they keep popping up in my books 😉

    • The nerve of those people popping into your books, Danica

      • See? It’s language like that. “Popping up.” Sounds so dirty.

  4. Hilarious! And I love the intro on your website. In fact, I’m heading back there next to check it out further. Thanks for a nice laugh to start my day!

    • Ben is awesome cool, Laurie!!

      • Thanks, Laurie. I hope you enjoy the rest of the site.

  5. Ben, I wrote my first love scene in my upcoming adult high fantasy romance novel. It was such a challenge. I was raised not to discuss such things in public. 🙂

    • I get squirmy just reading those kind of scenes. As if people around me can tell what I’m reading. Maybe if I should drooled less?

  6. Ben’s first book, “Post Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors” is well worth the 2.99 on Amazon. Hell, I woulda paid four bucks for it. Just bought the Dumb Husband story and can’t wait to read it.

    • Awesome- I like a deal – esp for a good read!

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